Brighten up your day with some humour

Three old guys were out walking.

First one said, "Windy, isn’t it?"

The second one said, "No, it’s Thursday!"

The third one said, "So am I. Let's go get a beer!"

If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year old's when they browse an antique store?

A: I remember these.

Q: Why do old people smile all the time?

A: Because they can't hear a word you’re saying!

I think my neighbour is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

A Man Goes to the Barber and the Barber Asks, "How Would You Like Your Hair Cut?"

The man says, "In silence."

A couple of elderly men were venting their frustrations about the woes of modern technology.

"I just can’t ever seem to remember my darn passwords," grumbled one of them.

The other one smiled. "Oh really? I can never forget mine!"

"How do you manage it?" asked the first guy curiously.

"Well, I simply set all my passwords to ‘Incorrect’ so that whenever I’m told that my password is incorrect, I’ll remember it!"

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

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